that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
