let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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