Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm like, not good at living.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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