question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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