put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Randomize
