thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
