Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
