if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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