Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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