so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize