Sry I called you an 8
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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