I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
