my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
