She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
