we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
