Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
