She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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