I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize