yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
