Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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