Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize