The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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