We got so high we made milksteak
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
His nipple licking is glorious
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