Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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