My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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