Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Randomize
