I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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