maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
