I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
They should really pass out barf bags in church
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
