At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
