Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize