Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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