she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
