So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
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