I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Dear god my vagina.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
