We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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