Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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