I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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