Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
