my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize