id be glad to
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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