me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
