Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize