Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
