We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
