Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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