evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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