he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
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