Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize