You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
