New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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