i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
