Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
