you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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