And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
