end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
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