she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
