I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
