I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Randomize
