PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
no, he came in my armpit
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
